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How to Forgive and Move On – 5 Ideas on Forgiveness

Writing How to Forgive and Move On was inspire by one night listening to Tim McGraw’s song “Humble and Kind.” I was struck by one line that says not to hold a grudge because “bitterness keeps you from flying.”

The song is an inspiration of how to live a good life, but that part of the song just stopped me in my tracks. Learning how to forgive someone who hurt you intentionally is a lesson we should all learn.

“By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. Forgiveness is no longer an option but a necessity for healing.” – Caroline Myss

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult things we can learn in our lifetime, but when you realize you are allowing someone else continue to hurt you long after the darkness has passed it means they have control over your future.

How do you really forgive and let go is hard.  Really hard. 

I wish the world were filled with only kind and loving people, but as we all know that’s not the case. I’m not an authority on the matter, I have had a hard time forgiving a couple of people who have crossed my path.

Listening to that song shifted things a bit for me because I realize that it’s so important in life to offer the world your finest self. Your best isn’t offered when you’re spending your life reviewing the bad things that have happened along the journey.

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you approve of person they are or that what they did is acceptable, it just means you love yourself enough to go forward in life and let go of what no longer serves you.

You owe that to yourself and those that you encounter in your life.

Forgiveness also doesn’t mean you’re obligated to have the person in your life anymore.

Some people can say a prayer and offer forgiveness, and the weight immediately lifts off their shoulders.

Others forgive bit by bit until the negative thought of the individual is finally released and they can move on.

Unfortunately, most of us continue to hold on to the anger and play the movie of what happened in our head over and over again, until it does so much damage you are uncertain how to fix it.

This post is applies to everyone that wants to move on with his or her life.  How to forgive yourself.  How to forgive someone who cheated.  How to forgive your parents.  How to forgive someone who keeps hurting you.  How to forgive someone who isn’t sorry.  How to forgive yourself even.

It’s the same formula for whoever the person is that needs to be forgiven.

Since you’re interested in creating a life you love, I’m guessing you like all things cozy living. I created a Facebook group called Creating a Cozy Life with over 7,000 like-minded souls.

It’s a group where we share recipes, pictures of things that leave you in awe, and ideas on how to make your life just a little bit more snug.  Join here to be part of the virtual cozy cabin.

Here are the 5 Ideas on How to Forgive and Move On: 

1) How to forgive and let go so you can be the best version of yourself.

You know for your well-being you should forgive. You’ve tried, but it was just too hard. Even when you know by not forgiving, you’re only doing continuous damage to yourself.

When you finally realize that you’re part of a bigger picture and that by not forgiving you’re not allowing yourself to be an instrument to create greater things – this awareness might be enough to shift your perspective.

This outlook changes the focus from the person that hurt you to the gifts you have to offer the world that is still unrealized.  The world needs the light that only you have to offer and no one is worth dimming it.

After encountering someone in my life that caused a lot of damage, I have chosen to bring those projects that have been languishing in my file cabinets to life, because I know by doing so I’ll be bringing positive things out into the universe.

Whenever the thought of the person enters my mind, I immediately start working on a task that will help me complete a project.

2) How to forgive and forget by holding a ceremony.

Write a letter to the person in question detailing your version of what happened and how his or her actions caused you so much hurt.

Once you spill every ounce of thought of this person on paper, build a bonfire and burn those words because you are willing to let the past go up in smoke and find out who you are without those anchors.

It might take you more than once doing this to release the pain.


3) How to forgive someone by focusing on the lesson.

Sometimes people come into your life to teach you something about yourself.

We are too close at times to understand what the purpose of the interaction brings about, but if you can distance yourself enough to view the problem without emotion, you might be able to find a lesson that you needed to learn.

You hear of victims who went on to create a support system to help other victims of the same situation. What was one thing you learned from the experience and how can you help others who encounter the same thing?

Is there a new path that this experience took you on and how has that improved your life?

Perhaps what you gained was the strength to get you through other hard times.

4) Refuse the “Gift.”

Someone I once knew that was incredibly wise told me every day you have the choice of whether you accept someone else’s present.

He said the gift is usually cheerfully wrapped the package with a colorful bow, but inside the present is hate, anger, insecurities, emotional immaturity and fear.

These “gifts” come in the form of gossip, personal jabs, racism and hurtful acts.

People are suffering, and they’re trying to share their burdens with you.  Participating in these acts will cause others harm as well as yourself.

This wise sage told me you always have a choice in life whether or not you want to accept the box.

If you decide to take the gift, you then get to carry the burden as well as the person that gave it to you.

It’s time to drop those perfectly wrapped presents into the trash, forgive the person that gave them to you and realize you had the power to refuse them all along.

How do you let go of the past? By knowing that you have a choice to carry someone else’s burden into the future.  

5) How to pray for forgiveness by blessing them.

This one is a bit hard. Instead of replaying the scenes in your head of what the person did to you, every time this person enters your mind, bless them and send them on his or her way.

Realize that you are dealing with an individual with hurt they are dealing with themselves.

Once you feel betrayal or hurt at a deep level, you don’t want anyone to experience what you went through.

In your mind thank them for coming and letting them know you no longer need his or her visits.

Bless them and refocus your energy. Do this until it becomes a habit.


Never underestimate the power of prayer. We could all use a little help getting us out of our way and praying for guidance might be just what you need.

If you’ve tried everything and you still don’t have the results you need, then you also might want to consider getting professional guidance.

Who would you be if the unpleasant memories of the past hadn’t happened?

Envisioning our best selves might be something every one of us needs to reflect on. It’s not too late.

My hope for you is that one of these ideas will help you find forgiveness and you’ll begin able to move forward with your life.  

How to forgive someone who has hurt you emotionally will be worth the effort you put into releasing the toxic energy.  

Do great things with your time on earth in spite of what has happened to you in your past. You were meant to fly little eagle.

So fly.  Then soar.  The world is waiting.

Make sure you sign up for our newsletter, so you don’t miss a single post. You wouldn’t want to miss  articles like Cozy Hygge Morning Rituals to Start Today.

If you need more ideas on forgiveness, one of my favorite speakers is Joyce Meyer.  She speaks about forgiveness in this YouTube video entitled The Supernatural Power of Forgiveness.  

Related Posts:

31 Small Goal Easily Achieved

Path to Simplicity:  25 Simple Living Ideas 

How to Forgive and Move On: Lessons in Forgiveness

 

 

 

 

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Colleen Ricica

Monday 5th of February 2018

I am grateful I came across this article. I have depression and have been struggling with forgiving my family, my parents and siblings for continuous hurt and rejection by them over the past 3 years. I have been counseled by professionals and my husband about the need to forgive them so I an move on with my life. I’ve been “stuck” in this pit of depression since the first incident happened. In reference to the paragraph stating “Forgiving means you love yourself enough to go forward in life...., my question is,”What if you do not love your self?”. I do not love myself. From hearing toxic comments about myself from family and others, I have come to believe I am defective, wrong as a person. How can I learn to like and love myself so I can finally forgive and move on? Colleen

Kelly

Monday 5th of February 2018

Part 1:/Hello Colleen! For starters, let me send a virtual hug your way. Your a brave soul, because most never ask for help, so you need to pat yourself on the back for that. Let me see if I can explain this in a way you'll understand: There are two different tomato plants, each in a separate pot. One tomato plant gets the right amount of sunshine, water, nutrients added to the soil, and a child sings to it every day. It grows, surrounded by a sturdy tomato cage that support it's growth. The odds of this tomato plant producing a boat load of delicious tomatoes? High. Right? It has everything it needs to offer its gifts to the world. Now the second tomato plant isn't so lucky. It's pot has depleted nutrient soil, it's in the shade for most of the day - only getting sunshine for a limited time, doesn't have a tomato cage to support its growth and doesn't get enough water. What's the odds of it producing a boat load of tomatoes? Low. Right? Do you blame the second tomato plant? Is it an inferior tomato plant? Or, perhaps did it not have the right conditions in which to be its best? It's time to stop waiting for others to tend to you. You have to start making sure you get what you need to be your best. That means instead of waiting for a family member to recognize your worth, its time for you to see your worth and become your OWN BEST FRIEND. Make your self-talk encouraging instead of beating yourself up. When you take a tiny step forward (like writing in today) - CELEBRATE YOUR BRAVERY! Do you love reading books? Take the time every week for an hour for yourself. Fuel your body with healthy foods. Stop focusing today of what you think others think about you and realize that all that really matters is how YOU feel about you. Water your roots, nourish your soul, enjoy the sunshine and start building a support system so when you grow you have others applauding you instead of trying to tear you down.

Marina

Sunday 4th of February 2018

We are in 2018 and thankful for this message. Thank you so much for the 5 tips. I will save it cause its so important. Ceremonie and Bless them put me think. Thank you and many blessing.

Kelly

Sunday 4th of February 2018

Hello Marina! Yes, you have to forgive even though it's really hard so you can get on with your life! Wishing you an amazing 2018. Kelly

Janine

Sunday 31st of December 2017

This is great advice. Thank you for posting. Starting off 2018 forgiving people who have wronged us will help us make the year a happy one.

Shelley

Tuesday 27th of June 2017

Thank you so much for writing this! It comes to me at a time when I'm "cleaning house" before we move. I found some paperwork I'd saved of someone I was going to sue. (she owes me a lot of $$$ which seems to make it harder to let go) I no longer have the time or energy to find her. I thought I had forgiven her, but the emotions this box o' stuff brought up means I have not. I'll be alone this coming weekend, so time to grab my Apache Tear, release my emotions into the box, and BURN it! Then I'll move on to the second movie that replays in my head just often enough that I realize there hasn't been complete forgiveness....Sweet Blessings ~

Kelly

Tuesday 27th of June 2017

Hello Shelley! I'm glad you came to this realization! What a relief. You will get the money back 10 fold once you're able to let it go. Thank you for commenting - you made my day! Kelly

Erin

Sunday 1st of January 2017

I'm so glad I read this. I have a hard time forgetting which tears me up inside and it affects everything in my life. This helped me realize I need to forgive first. Then I can work on forgetting. Thank you :)

Kelly

Sunday 1st of January 2017

I love your comment Erin! You can start to heal when you realize what is holding you back. Thank you so much for commenting...I can see how many people are reading my blog posts, but I don't know if they gained anything or not from it. I'm so glad it helped you. Have a wonderful 2017 and don't forget to SOAR!

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